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  1. • Tiger Woods misses self-affirming Buick ads

  2. • Antoine Walker bets he can gain 15 lbs. in 30 min

  3. • Tinsley released from Pacers prison

  4. •Study: NCAA violation happens every 4 seconds

  5. • Yao tired of being Chinese all the time

  6. •Belichick washes hoodie for new season

  7. •Tyson in different place, not raping new wife

  8. • Pitino’s new contract includes hair gel incentive

  9. •Rachel Alexandra changes name to Buck


Congress Passes Peephole Legislation

A bill that would make it illegal to look at Erin Andrews naked in hotel rooms swept through the House and Senate today. Senator Arlen Specter (D-PA) was the only no vote citing his inability to use the Internets.

Religious About Religion

Florida quarterback Tim Tebow said his love of inflicting pain and suffering on others came directly from Jesus.

Poland Buys Logo Rights

Citing a lack of brand awareness, Poland will use Yankees logo to boost self-esteem.

Water Man

Lance Armstrong drank 116 cups of water today. Despite riding slower than others, he was able to keep up in H20.

Lebron-A-Thon

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin will host the first annual charity event to raise money for Lebron’s world domination.



A Twinkie Never Hurt Anyone.