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9 of 10 Columbus Blue Jackets Can’t Find Columbus on a Map

Recent reports confirm that a majority of the Columbus Blue Jackets had no idea they were playing in Ohio. “I always thought Columbus was in New York,” said team leader Rick Nash. “Who the hell  plays hockey in Ohio?”

CUTHBERT SLEEPS WITH ENTIRE 1983 HARTFORD WHALER TEAM

After famously dating Sean Avery and Dion Phaneuf, Elisha Cuthbert decided to take things one step further by sleeping with each and every one of the 1983 Hartford Whalers at a Red Roof Inn. A graying Sylvian Turgeon said, “We didn’t see this coming but I’m not complaining. It was a little tough on Ron Francis since he showed up last night.”

  1. • Red Wings Secretly Hoping Pistons Get Asses Kicked

  2. • Barry Melrose’s Mullet Lands Network Talk Show

  3. • Sid “The Kid’ Crosby Hoping For Puberty Soon

  4. • Lady Bing Trophy Voyed Gayest in Sports

  5. • Hurricanes spokesperson: ‘Don’t blame us for New Orleans’

  6. • Jaromir Jagr admits his favorite color is jellow

  7. • Report: Ryan Malone’s playoff beard infested with lice

  8. • Alexei Kovalev and Alexei Zhitnik not on each others Fave 5

Little Known Ryan Malone Fact:

“I wanted to play in Pittsburgh because of the thriving art scene.”