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Reds Star Wants City Renamed Griffinati

Reds center fielder Ken Griffey Jr. urged city officials to rename the city after him if they want him to stay. “When people think of Cincinnati what do they think of?” asked Griffey Jr. “That’s my point. There’s nothing here. They can’t afford to lose the only big name in town.”

CONGRESS TO HOLD HEARINGS ON DEVIL RAYS

Calling it a sham and a threat to our national pastime, Senator Pete Domenici (R-NM), who heads the American Sub-Committee on American Things, called for a full investigation into the success of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. “You can’t go from being a laughingstock to being first in your division without doing something illegal. Trust me. I know.”


  1. • Instant replay to make baseball games even longer

  2. • Frank Thomas puts big hurt on waitress

  3. • Padres say baseball is about more than scoring runs

  4. • Baseball sues big tobacco for big mouth sores

  5. • Yankees consider move to Japan to win division

  6. • Randy Johnson not sure about the rest of his life

  7. • Bonds still wants to play in the All-Star Game

  8. • A’s winning despite cheap ass GM

  9. • Buck Showalter to have national park named for him

Little Known Rich Harden Fact:

“My girlfriend always says, ‘C’mon Rich, can’t you get any Harden than that. It’s pretty stupid. She never graduated high school.”